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Huff and puff...you'll never mein haus umblasen...
TWO ROOMS, CASTLE VU
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I don't know about you, but I'm through
Using up my best torches and rakes, this time you go first.
I'm not running to the castle with the rest of you.
That hilltop lane is so steep a man could burst.
One of these nights that Stein castle door will fall,
And hurt someone in the doorway crush.
You all heed the Burgermeister's call.
I say, why the hurry, and what's the rush?
I should be home repairing the roses from the last,
But no, there's always another run at castle scene time.
But this time, Frank, don't wait up, I'm not in the cast.
I'm dogging this run, faking it here at the end of
the line.
So hail, hail, your usual gang minus one is all there.
And you're overdue for the Baron's stormy wake-up call.
The prison wagon's rolling, and this time I don't care.
Frank, you ever think it's those shoes make you so tall?
Igor, don't tease him
Until I'm around the bend.
And don't you dare release him.
Like I said, I still got roses from the last siege to mend.
Frank, how about an autograph?
Frank, for old times, just a picture with the wife.
Frank, you're too much by half--
Frank, what's it like, doing lunch in another man's
life?
Frank, please put me down.
(Who'd think he could slip a shackle so thick?)
Hey Baron, come here, you maniac clown,
It was just my lighter--it was just one tiny flick.
Hey, what's a little fire and smoke thrown in
When the town's so fed up with this game?
Who's to know you didn't have a little humor sewn in.
So, Frank, don't squeeze, OK, the joke was only a tad lame.
Aw, Frank, not the rose-garden again, whyn'tcha go on home to bed?
Y'all can hammer and argue and wail.
Tomorrow night, 'meister, call out the Guard instead.
Because my section of cobblestone's now priced for
easy sale.
(It wasn't much better that vacation in Transylvania.
Now there's real problems with the zoning.
They've gone way past a raving, midnight mania.
I think it's even beyond that wolf-guy's pissing and moaning.)
So Frank, don't wait up.
I'm moving, and I won't be calling back soon.
I've traded my rake, torch and hovel straight up
For my brother-in-law's condo on that Black Lagoon.
(Hey, the
door is 15th century...I'm a few younger)